


Watered Scotch

by EvenIfYouLoseYourMind



Series: Agent Absinthe Works [2]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst with a Happy Ending, Daddy Kink, F/M, Jealousy, Knifeplay, Past Rape/Non-con, Praise Kink, Statesman, all the fun stuff comes in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 08:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12229227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvenIfYouLoseYourMind/pseuds/EvenIfYouLoseYourMind
Summary: Elise Crofter is Statesman's Agent Absinthe.  An ex-field agent that takes an instant liking to the Kingsman's Scottish tech wiz Merlin.  After being assigned to Scotland to help them rebuild the two begin a casual bit of fun that quickly spirals out of control as they realize the feelings between them are anything but a fling.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Follow the tumblr agent-absinthe for story spoilers/sneak peeks as well as more Merlin requests! So thankful to thatdamnokie on tumblr for giving me the drive and influence to begin this multi chapter venture

It was an early morning debrief of everything that happened the past few weeks with The Golden Circle.  Roxy’s right arm and leg still wrapped up in bandages after taking a few pieces of shrapnel from that fucking landmine that the sweeper missed.  Eggsy was nursing a pulled shoulder, and Harry had a rather nasty rope burn around his neck.  While Merlin was running on caffeine and the souls of all that had interrupted him after staying up and recreating an entire communication and security system for their new HQ/Distillery that he was very excited about.

“Where is that girl.  Dammit I want my gotdamn maple longjohn.”  Champ managed to mumble coherently as he adjusted his hat. 

Just as the last grumble came out of his mouth the unmistakable  _click-click-click_ of heels running down a tiled hall got closer to the meeting room before the door burst open.  A young woman in ankle boots walked into the room with several drink carriers of coffee stacked on top of one another.  She had quite the frame, sturdy hips and thighs filling out her skirt nicely, tucked in shirt trying hard to camouflage the cute tummy that protruded.  Several tattoos peeked out from the hem of her blazer and more taunted you from her collar bones, almost teasing in a way.  The frightened intern that followed her in carrying several things of donuts and a white bakery box could hardly hope to make an entrance after Absinthe.

“It’s about damn time Absinthe, we been waitin’ all day.”  

“You better watch your tone old man or I’ll resign and you’ll fall apart.”  She snapped back setting a maple longjohn and black coffee down in front of him.

Absinthe laid the rest of the food out before turning her attention to Harry who smiled, her features suddenly softening.

“Harry look at you!  You look so sharp in that nice suit!  I remembered how much you loved those quiches that I got you so I brought some more in case y’all didn’t like donuts.”

Absinthe had made Harry feel comfortable during his time of amnesia, visiting him with sweets and other comfort foods, listening to him ramble on about butterflies and his father’s immense disapproval.      

“This is Absinthe, lovely girl, kept me company during my time here.”  

Introductions began and when it finally came to Merlin he stood and shook her hand, surprised by the smell of what could be considered a masculine fragrance wafting from her.  Zest and Cedarwood.

“I’m Merlin, Kingsman’s technical overseer.  Thank you for looking after Galahad, its good to know he was in safe hands, I hope you will let us repay you in some way.”  

Absinthe stood still for a moment and suddenly looked down with an embarrassed smile.  Fuck she was a sucker for accents and his voice was already so deep and soothing it was hard to push through the haze he caused by speaking to actively listen to his words.

“Um, I’m- I’m so sorry, could you…repeat that?  I was far too distracted by your voice to actually hear what you were saying.”

She looked back up at him under the brim of her gold trimmed glasses and Merlin internally began screaming because how could he possibly remember what he had just said when that smile was aimed at him? 

“Uh...”   _Good god man get ahold of yourself_ , “Hamish, I mean Merlin, forgive me I am not feeling up to par this morning.”

Absinthe laughed and ran a hand down his arm, “I know how you feel.  It’s a pleasure to meet you honey.”

Merlin was about to reply when he was so rudely interrupted.

“Ya been in here fer five fuckin’ minutes and already flirtin’ how about ya reel it in so we can get this debrief over with.”  Tequila was clearly irritated by the exchange. 

“I wasn’t flirting,” she replied innocently to Tequila and turned back to Merlin, “I flirt much better than that.”

“Aye.  I’m sure you do…lass.”

She noticeably melted,  _Oh_ _f_ _uck me._

The debrief rattled on for an hour or so, Absinthe coming and going as Champ requested a file to go over or something else that he promised he absolutely needed.  Merlin found himself nodding off a couple times only to be kicked in the shin by Roxy who looked utterly mortified at the possibility that they did not look perfectly put together.  The poor girl was the only one who even paid attention because Eggsy was texting and Harry was too involved with the quiches to bother with something as silly as a debrief.

"Absinthe here is gonna give you a look at your new headquarters and fill you in on some news we uncovered."

The Statesman stood and took off her blazer to reveal a sleeveless, high neck blouse.  The tattoos on her arms standing out against her skin in black lines and pops of color.  

"Nice tats bruv."  Eggsy commented finally looking up from his phone.

"Thanks babe, gotta find something to cover up the scars right?  Ok, here is your new place of operation," a click on her clipboard pulled up a hologram on the table, "its refurnished after our building here complete with underground bunker and facility."

"We've also taken the liberty of having a Kingsman Tailor and Whiskey shop built near your old location.  The bad news is that the distillery will take a few more days to get fully set up, the good news is that I have located 3 of your former agents who are being flown in now, your intel and security departments in Berlin were in excellent shape and are at the distillery getting things ready.  So, I guess you guys weren't as gone as you thought."

Roxy was near tears, "Who?"

"Codenames are Percival, Kay, and Bors.  They all sounded in good health," Absinthe tapped around with the board, "it looks like the jets are landing now, I need to go evaluate them and once I have that done and they're debriefed on the situation you guys can come see them."

"Thank you so much."  Roxy wiped a dignified tear off her face.  

Absinthe rubbed a small circle on Roxy's back to help soothe her before tucking away her clipboard and picking up her blazer.

"Oh, before I go Percival said that he needed to and I quote, 'Buy that bastard Hart a drink for surviving a fucking shot to the head, you old cunt'.  And I think the rest of you guys could use one as well, especially you Ging' so, Tequila I suggest you start getting a night out planned."

"Oh, I can definitely do that."  A smirk on his too handsome face looked almost devious.

Eggsy thought back to the bar Harry had been insulted at, "So, are they all gonna be like that bar we got inta a fight in, then?  Cause I can't 'andle that bruv."

"That place is an insult to the statesman.  I'mma take y'all to some classy joints with a mechanical bull, and shots that are on fire, there's one with a stripper pole and if ya get Absinthe drunk enough, ohhh boy can she-"

"Tequila!"

"Oh, sorry.  Guess I should just let y'all find out on your own Saturday night then."  He teased.

Absinthe just shook her head and scowled, "Well, I'm gonna leave before I'm embarrassed anymore.  I'll let you all know when their evaluations are done!"

~

"So, Merlin, right?"

Absinthe was leaning against the door frame of the surveillance room with two coffee cups and a takeout bag of Chinese.  With Whiskey out on her first mission as a field agent Champ assigned Absinthe to assist Merlin as he implemented his security system into the new HQ.  It was likely to last a few hours as she would have to bypass the Statesman security protocols that had already been set up for the distillery and then wait as he rewrote the coding.  It was the last thing they had to do before being subjected to whatever Tequila had planned for tonight.   

"Aye.  Absinthe, was it?"

"Yep, Roxy told me you liked earl grey with cream and sugar, but I wasn't sure what kind of take out you'd like so I played it safe and got a few things."

Merlin felt his cheeks color with the consideration and took the cup with a small smile, "Thank you."

"I take it you're the Ginger Ale of the Kingsman?"  

"Well, I'm not a medical wiz like her but I do also train our new recruits.  Are you a field agent?"

"Technically no, I work in our psychology department, but Champ seems to not care what department I'm supposed to be in, I get moved around a lot."

The two settled down into a comfortable silence when the work really began and didn’t speak again until Eggsy came in without knocking, demanding that they hurry up so the group could get going.  God, he was already sloshed.

~

The first stop was actually classy.  An old school tavern with wood floors and tacky taxidermy animals all over the walls.  Tequila promised that all the ones after this would be rough and exciting, especially the mechanical bull one.  Absinthe wasted no time in approaching the cute Scotsman.    

"Can I buy you a drink?"  

"P-pardon?"

Absinthe chuckled and tilted her, "I think you're very cute and I'd really like to buy you a drink "

Harry who had been talking to Merlin at the bar gave him a kick to the shin when he didn’t immediately respond.

"Ow- of course, but you did bring me tea this morning.  Let me buy you one."  

And so began the downward spiral of the night.

Two bars later everyone was crammed into a few booths, Absinthe pressed flush against Merlin, his arm draped around her shoulders-strictly for comfort so there would be more room-yep definitely.  Eggsy and Roxy were waiting in line to ride the bull, taking bets on who would last longer (spoiler:  Roxy can stand on the bull while its going and Eggsy face plants into the wall).  Everything was going great until some redneck saddled up to their booth.

"Hey, baby can I buy you a drink?"

"No, thank you, dear."

"Ah, come on-"

"I'm fine-"

"But, I love a thick-"

"Fuck off."  

The guy scoffed, "wouldn't want yer fatass thighs around me anyway, bitch."

 After taking a long pull of her drink Agent Absinthe sat it down slowly. A deep laugh bubbled from her throat and she turned towards the redneck that had so eloquently recovered from her rejection by insulting her. Tension was building around the table, but to the Merlin and Harry's surprises’ none of the Statesman made the gentleman move of reprimanding the drunk idiot. Absinthe offered him a hungry smile, matching the malicious gaze in her eyes illuminated by the bar’s dim lighting. When she finally spoke the words came out slow and honeyed, masking the rage.

“Oh, baby. Go find someone else to bother. You’re right, my thighs won’t look good wrapped around your waist, but they would look so sweet breaking your neck.”

Merlin could almost feel his soul leave his body, the heat of her words making him acutely aware of just how nicely their thighs were rubbing against one another under the table. Lord, the images those words conjured in his mind…

"I've seen her do it buddy, trust me, leave."  Tequila nodded to a different part of the bar and the guy took the hint.

They shortly after, much to Roxy and Eggsy's dislike because they were just about to get into a fight with a group of guys imitating their accents.  Tequila promised to help them get into a fight before the night was over, but only after they left his favorite club which was next.  It was an upscale modern club that he always got VIP seating with, let's just say he kept the owner's son from getting busted on drug charges so they owed him.  Despite the roominess of the VIP section Absinthe and Merlin were still glued together, a fact that had been irritating Tequila all night.

"Ye know, you do have a very nice figure.  Its no wonder the boy tried taking you home."  At this point after all the drinks Merlin was pretty intoxicated-Absinthe not far behind, but still keeping it classy.

"You think?  Because," Absinthe put a hand on his neck and pressed lips to his ear, "I'd rather go home with you." 

Tequila was not having it and stalked over to suddenly pull her chair away from Merlin's.

"Absinthe, baby, come dance with me."

"I'm in the middle of something right now, Tequila."  She responded with a smile and clenched teeth.

He plopped down on a knee and clasped her hands between his being dramatic, "Oh, Elise Mae Crofter, won't you dance with me?"

"You're making a scene." 

"And if you won't dance with me I'ma make a bigger scene and have to give ya  a lap dance in front of allll these nice people that'd make your mama blush."  He had let go of her hands and was now bracing himself on the edge of her chair, leaning into her face

She finally broke at that and gave him a grin, "You're insufferable, fine."

He pulled her up and led her to the floor, only looking back to give the confused Kingsman a wink. 

"Bruv, you just got cockblocked, like that was so smooth."  Eggsy shook his head in shame.

Merlin huffed and tried not to scan the floor for them but the song was a hot Spanish number and seeing Absinthe's hips move like that was a good consolation to being "cockblocked" as Eggsy had put it.  His expression soured even more when he saw them both laughing, fuck how did she get him so wound around her already? 

"Hamish, being grumpy makes you look older."  Harry offered and laughed when Merlin glared at him. 

They disappeared from the floor but came back to the lounge with drinks, Absinthe returning to her spot next to Merlin.

"Sorry about that, Tequila's a drama queen."

"Hm, reminds me of Harry."

"Me?  Well, I certainly wasn't the one over here pouting while they were having their dance, now was I?"

Hamish sputtered at that trying to find something to say as Absinthe held her stomach and laughed

"Oh, honey don’t be grumpy."  She soothed, running a a hand up his thigh.

For a second it seemed that she would fucking get him in bed, she was not a shy girl about her sexual appetite and had the full intention of dragging him out then and there. 

Until her phone buzzed.  

"Fuck."  A defeated sigh, "I have to go.  An agent is having a melt down and asked for me."

"Do ye need someone to escort ya?"

"No, no you guys stay and have fun.  I'll see you tomorrow, cutie pie."  And before sprinting off to the car waiting for her outside she planted a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Bye, guys!"

Merlin forgot to breathe for a few seconds.

  

   


  

 

    

                


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sexual tension is building between Merlin and Absinthe, but will they get to act on it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this updated! I'm going for updating every weekend!

“Good morning, sunshine.”  Absinthe sang stepping into the break room where a hungover Merlin was slowly pouring water over his tea.

“Please, don’t shout.”

“God, what happened to you guys last night?  I passed Eggsy in the hallway and he had a black eye.”

“Well, the next bar we went to was the one with the pole.  You weren’t there so Tequila said he would have ta take on the responsibility.  Ended up giving Eggsy a lap dance, another patron shouted a slur and well, you can guess how well that went.”  Merlin pulled his phone out for evidence.

Sure enough Eggsy, who looked like he could not be happier, was getting a full on Pony show from Tequila.  Absinthe could hardly contain her laughter and laid her head on Merlin’s shoulder, tears at the corner of her eyes.

“I’ve decided to keep it as blackmail for when the lad annoys me.”

 “Good idea, that’ll make for a great video at his wedding reception.”

“Aye.  What about you?  Get any sleep?”

“Me?  Oh no, I’m pretty sure there’s still way more alcohol in my system than necessary, but we better get to this meeting, y’all should be scheduled to leave tomorrow morning and we need to have everything taken care of.” 

~

Several weeks had passed since the Kingsman began their slow climb back to stability and although they were making progress it was still agonizing.  So, when Eggsy announced that he and Tilde were fast tracking the wedding, it was a great way for everyone to take a second to breathe and help them remember why they were doing this.  Of course the Statesman agents were also invited, bringing a few cases of whiskey for the reception that also counted as a wedding gift.  After the toasts and speeches were made the reception finally kicked off after Tilde “accidentally” got icing in Eggsy’s hair and she “totally didn’t” teach Daisy to also smash cake into her brothers face.

“You look obscenely good in that.”  Absinthe had been slowly making her way to Merlin all night, he shed the decorative jacket leaving him in a white dress shirt and kilt.

“Elise, it’s good to see you lass.  Y’ look lovely as always.” 

They hugged and Absinthe placed a kiss at the corner of his mouth again.  The two had been in light contact with each other, mostly business since she was being appointed as consul between the two organizations.  After the wedding she would not be going back home to the states, but instead would be flying to Scotland where the distillery, her new HQ was.  The anticipation was killing her.

“Thank you.  I can’t believe I’ll be working with you soon.”

“I look forward to it.  Champ never fails to mention how versatile y’ are and how honored we should be that he’s lettin’ us have ya.  So y’ come with a lot to live up to.”  Merlin teased.

“Well, let’s hope I’m able to deliver.”

The flirting came back easily to them and it was like the weeks apart hadn’t changed a thing.  They had found a nice little corner near the bar, Absinthe resting her back against the wall while Merlin stood closely beside her, absentmindedly toying with a layer of tulle on her dress.  There was nothing wrong with a bit of light flirting, even though the light flirting had escalated to whispers in ears and fleeting touches.  Elise’s curiosity got the better of her and she slipped a finger up the hem of Merlin’s kilt, looking up at him with a smile that a predator gives to its prey.

“So…are you wearing anything under this?”

He chuckled, “Aye, you little pervert.  Why?”

“Well, you know growing up I was always told that Scotsman don’t wear anything underneath and I mean, I’m not callin’ you a liar buuut…”  Absinthe slid a few more finger tips up the kilt and Merlin grabbed her hand pulling her into him.

“You cheeky brat.”                                              

She only looked up at him and laughed, wrapping an arm around his torso and standing on her tip toes because his lips were just a little far-

“Elise!”  A drunk statesman that Merlin recognized as Rum was stumbling towards Absinthe with her heels in her hand.

“Elise, Elise I bribed the DJ, he’s gonna play Strawberry Wine!  Pleeeaassseee come dance with me.” 

Rum finally stopped and took a look at their position and faces before snickering.

“Oh no, did I interrupt something?  Oh no, I did the same thing Tequila did, I’m sowwry.  Elise pleeeaaase come dance with me, please.  I promise I won’t ruin another one of your moments!”

Absinthe closed her eyes and held in a breath for a few seconds, trying to dispel the rage because Rum was drunk and would cry at the slightest raised voice or wrong tone.

“I need to go entertain her or she’ll make a scene.” 

“Of course, can I get ya a drink for after?”

The offer and fact that he was willing to wait for her brought a lightness to her chest, maybe this night would prove to be a fun one after all.  Merlin smiled to himself as he watched her get pulled away by the sloppy, drunk statesman.  A hard clap on his shoulder brought him back to the real world, he turned to see Tequila watching the two as well.

“Nice skirt.”

“It’s a kilt.”

“Whatever.”  Tequila rolled his eyes and gave Merlin’s shoulder another squeeze, “lemme get ya a drink, give ya some advice no one bothered givin’ me.”

“Alright?”

Much to Merlin’s dislike the Statesman ordered two shots of his name sake and didn’t seem fazed when it burned down his throat, Merlin had to hold back a gag.  The bastard ordered two more.

“I’ma let ya in on some advice about fuckin’ around with Absinthe.” 

“It’s flirting, who’s to say it’s goin’ anywhere?”

Tequila snorted and shook his head, “Nah, that look on her face?  Man, she want’s you, and I’ve seen that girl get what she wants, one way or another.”

“and it ain’t like she a bad person, she’s actually real sweet, cares about ya, you know?  Makes ya feel like you aren’t complete shit,” a pause, “but she’s a black hole.  And it ain’t her fault for it.  You jus’ get sucked in and drown in her.”

Hamish didn’t know how to respond to that, uneasy about the sudden glazed over look on Tequila’s face like he was remembering something traumatic. 

“Anyway!  Just don’t get too attached, got it?  Now how about another shot!”

Thankfully Elise was walking up to them with a suspicious look on her face, not trusting whatever Tequila had to tell him. 

“Everything ok guys?” 

Another too hard clap on the shoulder, “Peachy keen, jus’ tellin’ skirt boy here what kind of drink ya like.  Jack and coke still right?”

“Tequila, honey it’s a kilt and yes thank you.”

“What the fuck ever, it’s a fuckin’ kilt, whatever.”  Were some of the mutters that could be heard as he walked away. 

“I’m sorry, I hope he didn’t bother you too much.  My fellow Statesman can be a handful.”  She shook her head and picked up her drink.

It could have been the two shots of tequila or the way Elise glanced up at him and smiled, but Merlin decided that he wanted her too, and now.  With a few hot whispers and downed drinks they were making their way through the reception, stopping briefly to wish Tilde and Eggsy a happy honeymoon.  Trying to get out without being stopped by Kingsman or Statesman agents should have been an assignment in itself, because to Elise it seemed like the whole fucking world was trying to cockblock her but dammit not tonight. 

It was only after the large doors to the ballroom had closed that they both breathed a sigh of relief and laughed.  The empty hallway like a blessing as they moved through it.

“Can’t believe we made it out of there alive.  Thought for sure someone was going to find a reason for us to stay.”

“Don’ jinx us yet.  I’m sure there’s someone lurking out here, waiting for us ta pass.”

The cold night air was refreshing and it seemed like they were actually going to be able to slip away unnoticed.  As they waited for a car Elise was saying something into Merlin’s neck, her lips rubbing up to his jawline-

“Absinthe?” 

Rum was resting her cheek against a flower pot, vomit dripping down the side.  Poor girl was never quite good at holding her liquor and now she looked absolutely wrecked. 

“Oh my god Mary, I’ll get you a car-”

“No, want you to take me.  You always rub my back when I throw up.”

“Mary, I’m in the middle of something right now.  You’ll be fine-”

She started _sobbing,_ “Nooooo.”

“I think you better go with her.”  Merlin said grudgingly, already planning out an awful mission to Siberia for Rum in his head.

Absinthe nodded and sighed, “Maybe it’s for the best, seems like the powers to be are against us.”

The poor driver helped get Rum into the back seat only for her to keep a hold of him and talk about how cute his love handles were, much to the drivers dislike. 

“I’ll see y’ next week at the distillery then, get some rest.  You’ll need it if y’ plan on livin’ up to all the talk.” 

“Oh, I will.  I just hope you’ll be able to handle me.”

Merlin took a sharp breath in through his nose at the sound of her voice, like she was taunting him.  And he took the bait.  Cupping her neck and hip Merlin bumped their foreheads together before slowly capturing her lips.  The kiss deepening when Absinthe pressed herself against him, disconnecting their lips momentarily to look up at him with blown out pupils.  God why was he panting?  It was one kiss.  His fingers began to squeeze when she leaned back in with a feather light brush before kneading his bottom lip with her teeth.  Fuck, this had escalated.

“Excuse me.  May I take you to the hotel now?  You’re friend threw up in my backseat.”

“Goddammit.  Yes, sir I’m coming.  So, sorry about that.”

Elise started to walk away when Merlin pulled her back in to him, “One more for the road?”

“Of course.  Just don’t get used to it.”

With the shot of warmth that jolted down his body at the contact of her lips against his, Merlin didn’t think he would ever get used to it.

~

Absinthe, it turns out, was not a consul to be fucked with.

“You have almost no People of Color on your staff and I can count the number of women working in here on one hand.  This is completely unacceptable, in order to be a well-rounded organization you need different people with different outlooks-”

The old man that had run the Berlin branch rolled his eyes, “We are a prestigious organization and do not require the-”

“ _Excuse me,_ I wasn’t finished speaking and will NOT tolerate being interrupted again.  Is that understood?” 

All of the former Kingsman agents sitting at the table and Merlin who was standing near the door looked shocked at the way she was speaking to a higher authority.  Well, except for Roxy and Amelia who were trying to hold back their grins and Harry who straight up giggled.

“Is that understood?”  She asked again only slower.

“Yes.” 

“Now, maybe you USED to be a prestigious organization but now you’re starting at the bottom of the barrel so we are going to build it back the right way.  And the right way includes different people with different back grounds.  Not just upper class white males.  Along with the recruits you all will be choosing I’ve taken the liberty of selecting a few from the Statesman pool, they’ll be here for training tomorrow.” 

Roxy, Amelia, and Eggsy all seemed very pleased with the idea.  The three exchanging smiles and glances at the older agents that still looked shocked.

“Thank you, Absinthe.  I’m sure the recruits will prove their worth.”  Oh god Merlin was panicking to get her out of the room before she started a fight with the old man.

“Thank you for your time, agents and have a good day.  I’ll be seeing you around the distillery.” 

After the meeting Lancelot decided that Absinthe needed to be taken out to London for her spectacular clap back.  With their connections it was easy to get into any high end club they wanted, Eggsy making a show of strolling past the line in his cute Adidas.  For some reason that Absinthe couldn’t pin point though Eggsy and Roxy both refused to drink any champagne brought to their booth while she and Tilde were more than happy to share the bottle.

“Are you having fun, love?”  Roxy half shouted in her ear on the packed dance floor.

“Yes!  Thank you guys so much, I’m having a great time!”

Absinthe kissed Roxy’s cheek and the two continued dancing with their arms around each other, only breaking it for Eggsy and Tilde to join in on the sandwich.  Speaking of sandwiches…

“And a chicken sandwich and an Oreo McFlurry and a 20 piece chicken nugget.”  Roxy was firing off half the menu and eventually the drive thru workers gave up and just threw some shit into a bag to give them.

The four of them were plastered and had 2 large bags full of McDonald’s as they sat down at Roxy’s kitchen table.  Eggsy, who had been teasing Merlin about Absinthe for the past several weeks, took his glasses off and tapped the SOS button. Meanwhile Merlin was sleeping soundly with his English Cream Retriever, Aspen, curled up at the end of the bed. A high pitched beeping from his glasses jerked him awake as the dog simply rolled onto her back, paws in the air.

“Wha’ is it Eggsy?”

Eggsy looked at the glasses and winked. When Merlin saw the three of them just gathered around a table with Roxy and Tilde methodically placing chicken nuggets into their Big Macs, folding it in half, putting fries on it and proceeded to shove it in their mouths as far as they would go; he knew the call had either been a mistake or some kind of joke.

“Eggsy, I don’ have time fer games it’s 3 a.m and-”

“So, Elise ya wanna fuck Merlin, right? Like you got the hots for em?”

On second thought, maybe watching wouldn’t be so bad.

Absinthe had her head resting on the table but rose with a pouty groan at what Eggsy had said.

“Oh my god I want him to smack me in the face so hard my lip busts open.”

Eggsy looked horrified and gave a ‘what the fuck’ face to the glasses, thinking Merlin would feel equally horrified. Instead of suddenly, furiously aroused at what Absinthe had described.  Roxy just nodded sympathetically like she knew exactly what Elise meant. 

“He’s so cute and he kisses so well.”  Her head had returned to the table and she whined.

“Yokissedmerlwin?”  Roxy tried asking through a mouthful of food.

“At the reception.  His lips are so soooft and I want him to choke me.” 

“Oh my god!  Absinthe forget I asked! Jesus, what is wrong with you lot!”  Eggsy shut off the glasses in disgust.

Merlin leaned back against his head board, hand coming up to scrub his face.  She had sounded so small and submissive, not at all like her usual unwavering and steady voice.  His finger moved against the side of his frames.  Rewinding.

_“I want him to choke me.”_

One more time.

_“I want him to choke me.”_

Merlin let out a shaky breath, hands retreating from the glasses.

_“I want him to choke me.”_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the sexual tension boils over into this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the missed update, I have two other works going right now on Tumblr that needed to be taken care of first. Go check it out if you want more content like this, I update at least one of them every week!

“Come on Lancelot, ye want to burn off all that McDonald’s don’t ye?  You’ll have to run harder than that.”  Merlin’s sarcasm came over the intercom of the training room as Roxy ran circle around the new recruits, literally.

At the mention of McDonald’s Roxy covered her mouth and ran from the ranks to the locker rooms.  Merlin was laughing to himself when the door opened and a yawning Absinthe waltzed in looking slightly better than Roxy in her first Kingsman suit; a deep slate gray with gold trim, her black button down under it was _just barely_ covering the lace of her bra.  It took a lot of Merlin’s self-control to keep from glancing down at the curve of her breast where the faintest hint of black lace cupped it. 

“Mornin’ love, y’look like you’re doing better than the other two.”

“Mmm morning, I brought you some tea and a muffin if you’d like it.”  Elise sat the cup and treat down before stretching.

“Yer too good to me.” 

A hand ran across his shoulder blades as she bent down to look at the monitors, commenting about the recruits as she took a seat next to him.  The tip of Absinthe’s nose touched his shoulder suddenly before she nuzzled her face into him sleepily.

“You smell good.”  She commented, opting to rest her head in the crook of his neck.

It would have been a very touching and sweet moment had it not been for the fact that all Merlin could think about was how soft her voice was, reminding him of the recording that he shamefully still has saved on his glasses.  He didn’t know if the three younger agents even remembered anything about the previous night, well except for Roxy who was probably cleaning herself up.  Once the recruits warm ups ended Merlin knew he’d have to get up and start training for today although the other option of staying put and letting Absinthe nap on him seemed like a better option.  Elise did him the favor of moving on her own, stretching again with a yawn and mumble of how tired she was.

“The office is gonna be so boring with you gone.”  She groaned.

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to entertain yerself.  I’ll stay till I finish my tea, though.”

Absinthe busied herself with collecting field reports and statistics around the room when Roxy came in looking much less dead and showered. 

“How the hell are you not dying right now?” 

“Well, I’m not the one who ate a whole bag of McDonald’s and then refused to drink any water.” 

“Worth it.”

“McDonald’s isn’t even that great-”

Roxy gasped, “don’t you dare!”

Merlin smirked listening to their playful spat as he sipped his tea and observed what the recruits did when left to their own devices.  Several of them had wandered over to the table of special weapons that they would be training with today, Tequila and Eggsy scheduled to come and help demonstrate the Statesman and Kingsman ones respectively.  There was giggling and sounds of a light struggle behind him as the girls began throwing things at each other, Roxy throwing her jump rope over Elise’s head to be funny and the Statesman agent responded accordingly.

“Oh, ya daddy choke me.”

Tea now covered the monitor and keyboard as Hamish cupped a hand over his mouth and coughed, the liquid dripping out between his fingers to soak his pants.  He was not ready for that, he had just taken a drink for fucks sake.

“Merlin, you alright over there?”  Roxy called, concerned.

Meanwhile Absinthe was doubled over laughing so loud it echoed in the small room and tears brimmed at the corner of her eyes.  Because she fucking knows what she did and part of her has never been more proud of herself.  The blush that has now invaded Merlin’s neck is still traveling south and it’s hard to concentrate when he’s trying not to get a hard on in front of the two girls who are both laughing now. 

“Tell Eggsy and Tequila to go ahead and get started when they arrive.  Seems I need to go change.”

The only response he got was more shrill laughter.

Elise really didn’t mean for that kind of thing to happen, she didn’t think Merlin would have such a hilarious reaction either.  By the time he made it back to the recruits Eggsy and Tequila were already showing them the specialty weapons such as the umbrella, shotgun, and whip.  Absinthe was on the scene taking notes and video that would be sent back to the states as part of her report, but being there also made her a target for the two field agents.

“Oi, Abs!  Get a shot of me from this side it’s my good one!”

“Eggsy you’re cute all around you don’t have a bad side.”  She offered with a smile.

Eggsy grinned and Tequila just rolled his eyes, “Elise why don’t you come over here an’ give these guys a lil’ somethin’, huh?  Maybe show em the whip?”

“Come on I’m trying to do my job here and you should be doing yours!”

“But ya know I ain’t great with it, come on I know how handy ya are with one.”  He teased earning him an ‘oohhh’ from the recruits.

Absinthe huffed and sat down her clipboard before taking off the suit jacket and reluctantly made her way to the table.  It was a light tan, 6ft bull whip equipped with several buttons ranging from electricity to razor sharp blades, very standard for the average Statesman that has a flair for the dramatics or just thinks it will make them look cool.  Most of the recruits seemed to find it interesting, watching eagerly as Absinthe unraveled it.

“Now, it may look fun but the Statesman Bull Whip is not a toy.  When I trained with this thing I gave myself welts everywhere.  It’s hard to master and can be difficult to use in the field if you don’t have perfect control over it which is why I don’t use it.” 

“I’ll show you guys some basic whip cracks and then your obnoxious instructors are gonna leave me alone.  The first ones pretty easy, called a Cattleman’s Crack.  It’s painful and a good way to get someone to back off-“

Absinthe elegantly pulled back her arm and flicked it forward creating a very loud and startling _CRACK!_ “here’s an Overhead crack followed by a Figure 8 style.”

 _CRACK CRACK CRACK_  

The room now had an air of tension to it from the energy that the sounds evoked, one recruit in particular, a Scottish lad with thick black hair and freckles let out a quiet ‘fuck’ after she was done.  Hamish was now more frustrated which meant he was going to be annoyed with absolutely everyone today.  Was this karma?  Was this payback for being a creep last night?  This was too much, he did not deserve it.

“I think Agent Tequila can take it from here.  Thank you all for watching and good luck with training.”  Abs shook her head and went to go pick up her shit, those two made her so tired. 

“Not a field agent, eh?”  Merlin asked as she walked by him.

“It’s a long story.  Sorry about your pants you really should get that cough checked out though, wouldn’t want it to happen again.”

_What a cheeky brat-_

~

Merlin was convinced that Absinthe was out to kill him.  For real cause him to have some kind of heart attack that would put him in an early grave or in the hospital and he’d never return again.  First it was the confession to Eggsy, then the tea, later that same day she had needed help getting something down from a high shelf and when he reached up to help she “accidentally” rubbed her ass against him.  And now just a few days later here he was watching Elise kneel down to pick up a folder she had dropped, her skirt riding up to reveal the top of a lacey tight and garter.  She looked up to catch him staring and gave him that slow, predatory smile again.

“You ok, Hamish?”

“I’m fine.”  It came out sharper than he would have intended.

Elise took the tone as a sign to leave him be and quietly gathered the rest of her things before leaving the office.  He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, he was getting angry with himself not her!  The tension between them could fill a fucking room since the reception and it was driving him crazy, her acting completely calm like nothing had happened and constantly touching him did not help.  He was _Merlin_ for Christ sake; calm, collected, and even tempered even in the worst situations yet for the past few days he had been snapping at everyone, even Harry had gotten a lashing for not doing a report he was supposed to have done 2 fucking weeks ago.  He had taken to ignoring Elise almost altogether. 

It seemed that everyone knew what was going on because Absinthe was getting an earful.

“Look, I don’t know what the fuck you did, but _fix it._ ”  Roxy was absolutely furious about her ‘Exceptional’ rating she had gotten on her recent mission instead of her usual ‘Outstanding’.

She had the Statesman cornered in the breakroom, literally cornered between the fridge and counter. 

“Roxy, honey I didn’t do anything!  Ok, I think he might be annoyed with me too.  I have no idea what’s going on.”

Lancelot stared her down for a few more seconds before sighing, “sorry, I’m a bit of a perfectionist I guess.  You two seemed to be hitting it off so well, I’m sure he’ll come around.”

Absinthe shrugged and went back to making coffee, feeling a bit down by how he had snapped at her earlier.  God, she was so stupid to think that he could like her.  Merlin was mature and reserved and nothing at all like the type of men that always seemed to be attracted to her, and fuck did she really want him. 

“Elise?” 

“Hmm?”  She turned around to find Merlin in the door way with his hands clasped.

“I wanted to apologize for snapping at ye earlier.  It’s been a stressful week, I was hopin’ you’d let me make it up to ya.  There’s a great pub not too far from here, we could grab dinner?”

“Oh honey, don’t worry about it I was being annoying anyway.  You don’t need to do anything.”

“Let me rephrase.  I _want_ to take y’out _,_ should’ve asked a long time ago.”

Her face split into a grin and she nodded eagerly, “then I’d love to!”

“Does 8 sound good?”

“Sounds great.”

~

Elise had changed into a long sleeved dress and boots, hair out of her bun for once to tumble over her shoulders.  Maybe she looked a little too dressed up for a Scottish pub but she really wanted to look cute for Merlin.  Who met her outside with a Kingsman cab, still in his work clothes but missing the glasses and tie.  The driver, Joseph, filled the car with pleasant chatter as they drove into the small village, almost passing up the pub as he recalled a story of when he had to pose as a street racer.

It was a cozy little place with a fire roaring at one wall, the smell of onions and potatoes wafting around, and very loud laughter from the patrons.  Perfect.

“This place is amazing.”

“I threw up in that corner over there and then passed out in the backroom, the barkeep still remembers me.”  Hamish recalled wistfully as they waited for their drinks.

“What?!  You can’t just leave me hanging there!  Tell me what happened!”

After a cute waitress came to take their order, Elise understood what 3 things on the menu were so she played it safe and got the special of bangers and mash, Hamish dived into his story.

“I grew up not too far from here and before I joined the military my mates took me out and got me absolutely smashed.  The place used to have karaoke and well… lets just say they don’t anymore because of me.”  

Merlin took a drink of his ale and with a tinge of embarrassment continued, “after they pulled me off the bar I threw up in the corner, smashed a bottle over my mates head, and stumbled inta the backroom.  Where I threw up again.”

Elise had a hand over her mouth laughing, trying to picture a young, drunk Hamish slurring his words and singing very bad karaoke.  The night started great and only continued to get better, Absinthe recalling one of her own drunk stories.

“- and then I jumped the fence in a floor length dress, punched Tequila in the face, and woke up on the roof of the distillery.”

Seeing Merlin grin and laugh like he was doing now sparked a warmth in her chest that grew to other parts when he aimed it at her.  When the food was finished and the laughter had finally died down it felt like it was time to go and with a bit of liquid courage Hamish made a move as they stood outside waiting for the cab.

“If… ye don’t want to go back to the distillery, my place isn’t far from here.  Could jus’ come over for a drink.”

There it was again, that slow smile.

“I’d love to, honey.”

Joseph didn’t say anything when they asked to be taken somewhere different than the brewery, giving them a smile and a honk when he dropped them off.  It was a small, modern house that smelt like clean linen and moss.  The sound of excited paws came bounding down the stairs as soon as Merlin flicked the lights on.

“OH MY GOSH YOU’RE THE CUTEST!” 

“Her name’s Aspen, she’s an English Cream Retriever.”

Absinthe was on the floor with her scratching the dog’s tummy and cooing, “she’s perfect, the best, the cutest, I’d die for you.”

“I’ll get ya a drink.  Scotch on the rocks alright?” 

After coaxing her off the floor and promising that Aspen could sit with them on the couch he was able to get her into the living room.

“You know, you didn’t have to wine and dine me to get here.”  Elise says softly, letting the ice in her drink melt to reduce its sting.

“I wanted to.  I am a gentleman after all.”

“Ya, you are.” She smiles at him and takes a sip of the scotch, nose scrunching up at the burn.

“Not a fan?”

“I am, it’s just strong.  My dad drinks it and he lets the ice melt almost all the way because he doesn’t like the taste.  He always gives me a glass and says ‘Elise, ya know what’s better than watered down scotch?  Not drinkin’ scotch.’ I take it as a metaphor that if I do something half assed in my life I shouldn’t do it all, because if I really, really wanted it I’d give it my full effort.”

Merlin didn’t respond immediately and instead opted to down the rest of his scotch in one go before setting it on the table.  He slips his hand under her face to get her attention and bring them closer together.

“Will y’give me your full effort, then?”

“ _Yes._ ”

That’s all the permission he needs to pull her into a kiss, sweet and peckish at first but deepening quickly.  Hand going from her jaw to tangle into her hair as the other slid up her thigh and under the dress to feel soft skin.  Elise shivered at the contact and pulled away slowly.

“I really don’t want to waste time out here, honey.  Bedroom?”

“Of course.”  Merlin took her hand and led her upstairs, ordering Aspen to stay halfway up.

He didn’t bother turning the light on when they stumbled in and closed the door, the bedroom remaining dark as she sat on his lap and kissed him.  His sweater was the first thing to go the room had gotten too fucking hot and he was starting to sweat through the dress shirt.  Elise was focused on his pants as the sweater and shirt came off to be thrown somewhere on the floor, but just as she got his belt loose he stopped her.

“If I remember correctly, that dress is still on.  Take it off.”

“Ask me nicely and maybe I will.”  She sassed back.

_POP_

Elise gasped when she felt a hard, quick slap to her cheek.

“Don’t be cheeky.  Do as yer told.”

She moaned in response and stood, not at all surprised when the bedside lamp was turned on and Hamish looked up at her expectantly.  It was slow moving, the dress inching its way up past her thighs and hips and breasts to finally fall to the floor revealing a lacey bralette and panties.  Elise gently pulled the bra over her head to add to the pile and then stood with hands on hips waiting for a reaction. 

He was not ready.

Her figure, the tattoos, those _fucking thighs_ that he now knew were covered in flowers.  It was almost too much to take in, all he could do was stare up at her in admiration. 

“Hamish?  Hey, you still with us?  Don’t pass out on me.”

Hands grabbed her hips and pulled her towards him, “you’re so fuckin’ gorgeous.  Good lord.”

“Thank you.  Now can you take these off and fuck me, please?”  Absinthe snapped the band of her thong and tugged down viciously on his pants.

Elise ended up on her back with Hamish pressed against her, slow kisses and teasing movements.  Absinthe hated these games he was playing, she wanted him to fuck her not kiss her neck and whisper how cute she looked.

“What do you want?  I can do all kinds of things, sweetheart.  Just tell me.”  She squeezed her thighs around his hips for emphasis. 

Hamish propped himself up on his elbow and forearm took look at her, running his fingertips against her cheek and then traced her collarbone thinking. 

“I want you ta trust me.”

Elise knitted her brows together, not sure how to respond to such an unexpected request because she didn’t trust him, she didn’t trust anyone.

“Honey, what-”

“Jus’ trust me.  Let me enjoy ya.”

Lips reconnected with her neck and began to make their way down.  Oh.

“You don’t have to, I usually don’t like it, I’d really rather have you come back up here and fuck me, I don’t want to wait much longer, please.”

He chuckled darkly kissing her inner thigh, “ye need some training in patience then, love.”

“You motherfu-Uuhh, fuck.” 

The wet warmth of his tongue caught her off guard, slipping past her lips to flatten against her opening and swiped lazily up.  Merlin had an arm wrapped under and around one of her thighs the other laced their fingers together to keep her grounded.  He was absolutely treacherous with it, not kidding about teaching her patience by the pace he was keeping.  Acting like he would be fucking content just staying down there all night rolling the tip of his tongue around her clit. 

“Ok, ok I learned my lesson!  I’ll be good I promise, Hamish, please.  I’m begging, I’m sorry.”  Elise was shaking she needed him so bad.

Hamish sat up with a snarky grin, “alright lass, since you asked so nicely.”

With some fumbling and comfortable laughter as they got used to each other’s bodies, the two were finally rewarded after so many near misses.  He stretched her out nicely, the feeling of being almost too full putting a haze on her mind and making her more sensitive to the small thrusts that he began with.  After Absinthe moved with him he finally got the hint that he could go harder and snapped their hips together.

“Fuck, like that, yes.”

Merlin was always open to direction and followed through, thrusts getting harder loving the way she bent to him.  Her legs constricted around his hips, not letting him pull out completely so he would fuck into her deeper, everything was starting to feel too sensitive.  All the pent up sexual frustration showing itself in scratches down backs and unrelenting rhythm.  That was it, Absinthe was too over stimulated from being toyed with by his tongue, her body screaming for release as she arched and pressed a hand between their joined bodies to find relief.     

“Elise, love.  Look at me.”  Hamish’s voice cut through the haze and she opened her eyes to stare into his just as lidded and dark ones as he pressed their foreheads together.

The sensuality of the contact sent her over the brink and her body shook, face crumbling into a chocked sob.  Merlin followed suit, his nails leaving crescent shaped bites in her hips from the grip he had on them.  He pressed his face into her neck and breathed in an attempt to regain some composure and she made no move of unwrapping herself or pushing him off.

“Fuck, Hamish.”  Elise muttered tiredly not sure where she was going with it.

“Satisfied, darlin’?”  He purred.

She kissed his temple, “for now.”        

     

 

 


End file.
